Howe jokes
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
Memes
me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.