A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient. The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient". Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants. Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage. After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control. Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?" The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
How did I get to Iraq? I ran
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
How do you get 1 million followers? You ran through Africa with a bottle of water.
I like my wine like how I like my women, 10 years old and locked in a basement.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? -- A buccaneer.
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. how a about you gobble DEEZ nuts.
How does you make a baby astronaut sleep? You rock-it
How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
How do you make a pink smurf
You peel the skin off
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c--k tastes like s--t!
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. ...just kidding- - none. They can't change anything.
how many trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb? none, trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
A guy runs into a bar, and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
