Howe jokes
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
Memes
meme:
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.