Howe jokes
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.
Memes
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.