Howe jokes
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
Memes
How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.