Howe jokes

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.

how to solve world hunger and over population?

Cannibalism.

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. They hire me to do it.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until their parents come home.

How do you fuck a cow?

Find the nearest Karen.

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.

Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.

How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

How did I get to Iraq? I ran.

How do you blindfold a woman?

Put a windshield in front of them.