Howe jokes
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
Memes
meme:
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!