How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
"I had a great day today." "Why?" "Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"
How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
how do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool?
you flip it over.