Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?
REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
