Howe jokes
What do you call the heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson?
Jeffrey Epstein.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.