Howe jokes

Abortion

How do you flatten curves?

With an abortion.

Common

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

German

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

Women

How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.

Blind

How does a blind person wipe their ass?

With braille toilet paper.

Blind

How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

Adult

How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?

Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.

Gay

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

Chinese

How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)

Blind

How do you blind an Irish woman?

You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.

Woman

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

Gay

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.

Twin Towers

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

Aid

I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.

I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."

North Korean

I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.

He said he couldn't complain.

Indian

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

Dark Humor

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.