How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
