Kid: Mum how do you know someone is drunk? Mum: See the four birds over there Kid: huh, wait a minute. Mum: A drunk person would see eight. Kid: Mum but there is only two.
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby? When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
How many People do you need to change a Lightbulb? Three.The first holds the ladder,the second one holds the Lightbulb and the third one spins the Ladder.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog
The school shooter: I finally found you worthless crybabies!! The Quiet Kid: How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same? The school shooter: I don't know. The Quiet kid: When you pull them out every body wants to be your friend.
How do you find out if your kid is gay? Lock him in a closet and if he comes out his gay if not his dead straight.
My son asked me how i'm so clean,"inside out.". I told him because of bleach. the next day I found him drinking the bleach.
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed.. The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that's not Bubba. The second friend said he's burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that's not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don't know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding feminists can’t change anything
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. They boy turns to the man and says, “Hey mister its getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?” So the man says: “How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
How do you think the unthinkable? With an ithberg.
How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep? Sing a koala-by.
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
Q: how can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff...
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
