Howe jokes
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
Memes
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.
How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...