How to Jokes

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.

I told them “because I’m such a noose-ance.”

Why do the depressed people go to camp to learn how to tie knots tighter

How to know if your wife is dead ; well the sex is still trash ;but the dishes really start to pile up

Why did God make men? Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn.... =^..^=

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Two Italian men get on a bus...

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.

Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sexa?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me Shoyu."

i never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me

Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.