How To jokes
Sure, just tell me how to put on a mask.
How to stop bullying?
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Short people, opinions?
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.
The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."
So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet... What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.