How To jokes
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
How to not exist: Kys.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.