How To jokes

Why are orphans bad at basketball?

They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.

Why do orphans not know how to spell?

Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡

Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.

how to solve world hunger and over population?

Cannibalism.

All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.

"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."

How do blind kids get punished?

By moving the furniture around the house.

How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝

These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?

Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"

Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

How to get a girl in three steps:

Step 1: grab a pillow.

Step 2: grab a blanket.

Step 3: keep dreaming.

Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.