All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
How To Jokes
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.
At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
