How To jokes
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
If you don’t know how to braid, hit that follow button, let’s gooo!
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
Why do orphans not know how to spell?
Because no one likes them, dumb people. 🤭🤡
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.