how to blind kids get punished? By moving the furniture around the house
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.
At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
