How Many jokes
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. To hire the Mexicans.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES