House jokes
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
Why can't orphans play poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is.
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?
LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?
FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!
LONELY ORPHAN: :(
What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?
One is allowed in the house.
I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.
Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?
He was snowed in.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.