House Jokes


An Orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday, i said “Don’t you have a family?”


There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don’t have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You’re right it’s very nice but i’have one thing that you don’t have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don’t have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don’t have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I’m rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I’m rich.Why you have something that I don’t have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!


Whats black and sitting in a chair. Steven hawking after a house fire

in Orphan

Q: Why can’t orphans ever win at Yahtzee?

A: Because they can never seem to get a full house

in Orchestra

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of peoples houses? They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in.

in Horse

What type of horse can jump higher than a house? all houses cant jump

in Orphan

What was the Orphan favorite TV show?

Full House


What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.

in Puns

A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.

the chicken

why did the serial killer cross the rode, to get to the victims house

knock knock who’s there, the serial killer

kid toutcher
in Orphan

how do you make a orphan cry? ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it

in Orphan

Why did the orphan rob the bank 🏦 To buy a house


What do you call a retard in a house fire?

Flame Retardant


Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?

A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

in Trump

Americans won’t have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.

How did the burglar get into my house?

Intruder window.

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

David Unwin
in Puns

A cow is at his friend’s house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch)

in Sadness

today my idiot brother screamed"ahhhhh im dead!’ but it wasn’t really, so i d3cded to make it a reality until my sister came…

AND HELPED ME! - for once but then two minutes later my mom showed up, we k!lled him right infront of her and she screamed! "DONUTS AND PIZZA FOR YPU AND MORE IF YOU GO TO MRS ROBERTS HOUSE AND SAY HI AND BYE TO DADDY!!! and she hands us both a sharp tool and i say what about tommy!!! arn’t u MAD!!! then she replied who’s THAT??? COZ HE AINT MINE HIS NAME IS TOMMY, TOMMY ROBERTS. so then me and my sister visit mrs ROBERTS AND SHE SAID OH THIS ISN’T ANYTHING IMPORTANT GO HOME! so then my sister nd i say hi! and do a countdount aftr that my nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR , MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL!😊😊😊 but then the police question us where daddy was so then mom said… oh he’s moved on! so then the police officer was like ahem ma’m where! SO THEN I BELLOWED… UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either🧐 i will ask my neibour nessy she’ll obviously say YES or ill…

ok like for part two☺☺☺


How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.