House jokes
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
When did Jesus die?
On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.
I haven't seen sunlight in 3 years
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
I don’t love being bored.
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
I did have a good night, and I did a good night, and I had to walk around the house.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...