A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?
Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Why can’t orphans say I’m in the ghetto? Because they can’t say I’m in a home
Why didn't Sally get home from work.
She got hit by a bus
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING
I heard a joke about chocolate
It wasn’t that funny
I just Snicker-ed
What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest
There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Why don’t orphans play football? They have no home field
What time is it when you get home can you walk me home and get home and I can walk you home and walk home
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him but and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
When meeting her parents don't require you to leave the house
When your crush walks in class but youre homeschooled...
What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine
So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.
