Home jokes
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
What is a home that can fly?
A magic house!
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What are orphans' favorite sports team? The home team.
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...