Home jokes
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing today? Did I have to text more today after dinner? I did text, and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠. Night is so nice 👍. I did not walk away, but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home, can you walk?
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.
Because it’s empty inside.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
What is wrong with the orphan website? It doesn't have a homepage.
Where did a chicken orphan go?
A foster home.