Home jokes

I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."

Why don't orphans have a site page?

Because there's no home page.

Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.

Police: What is that location?

Me: I don't know where is dis location.

Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.

Me: WTH?

Police: Ends call.

Me: Calls hospital.

Hospital: What is that location?

Me: I don't know where is dis location.

Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.

Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.

Hospital: Hangs up.

Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.

Fire: No fire.

Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?

Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."

How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?

Your dog's gone.

Your finances are done.

And your floaties.

Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.

Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?

Because they can actually land a home.

Why can't an orphan win a baseball game?

Because they can't reach home.

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?

They have no way home.

Why can't orphans use a phone?

Because they don't have a home screen.

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.

Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.

The orphan: What is home?

Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.

*puts in trash can*

What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.

Where do orphans shop?

Home Bargains.