Home Jokes

A husband comes home from work one day and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."

A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time?" The woman replies "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."

What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?

Honey, I'm home!

I saw a little kid on their bike before. So i ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.

What joke do you tell an orphan?

Knock Knock...

Who' there?

Not your parents

Why done orphans get offended by dark humor?

It doesn’t hit home

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

dark humor is like a home not everyone gets it

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

Whats the similarities between spiderman and a homeless person

They both have no way home!

I told a kid his dad I's a magician because he disappeared and never came back home

I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. Anyway...

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult "I know the whole truth" they will be all weird so he went home and told his mom "I know the whole truth" and she gave him 20$ and said to keep quiet. Pleased when his dad got home he said "I know the whole truth" and his dad gave him 40$ an said don't tell mom. really pleased he met the mailman the next day and said "I know the whole truth" then the mailman got down on his knee opened his arms and said come to daddy.