Holiday jokes
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
What do orphans get for Christmas?
Lonely.
What's the best part of a terrorist on Fourth of July?
The finale.
Memes
Do you hear what I hear? | Daily Spooktober Meme #3
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
Why are Santa's balls so big?
Because he comes once a year.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.
What do you read on Halloween?
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Guys, what should I be for Halloween (aka tomorrow)?