What do orphans get for Christmas?
Lonely.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
What do you read on Halloween?
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.
Guys, what should I be for Halloween (aka tomorrow)?
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
