Holiday jokes
Guys, what should I be for Halloween (aka tomorrow)?
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
Why are Santa's balls so big?
Because he comes once a year.
What do orphans get on Xmas?
Lonely.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
What's the best part of a terrorist on Fourth of July?
The finale.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?
Because they don’t have a Mother's nor Father’s Day.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
What do orphans get for Christmas?
Lonely.
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
What do you read on Halloween?
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.