Holiday jokes
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.