Hit jokes

Why did the little boy get hit by a car?

Answer: Because Sally was driving!

So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.

You when you face the boss the first time: :)

You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.

Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?

I tried to hit G by putting D.

Why did the dog cross the road?

It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?

Moses hits the adoption lottery!

The people in the second tower, "I'm so glad that plane didn't hit our building!"

The second plane, 🗿🗿🗿

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

What do you call a Titan who can't swim?

Titanic!

Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.

What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.

Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.

As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.

Then one stops and asks his companion:

"Does this taste funny to you?"

A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"

The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."

Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!

Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.

I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂

What was David Bowie’s last hit?

Probably heroin.

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?

He was hit by a train.

Why is my plane delayed?

Because someone hit the Sears Tower.