Hit jokes
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
Q: Why can't pilots play Jenga?
A: Because they will just hit the Twin Towers.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
Why did the child drop their ice cream?
They got hit by a bus.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.