I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!

I couldn’t quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!

What’s the worst part of about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car? Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half

What grade does Sherlock hits on girls from?

Elementary my dear Watson

Why did Hitlers girlfriend break up with him, he Hit-ler

*a married woman gets hit by a truck and the cops tell her husband Cop: sir, it looks like your wife’s been hit by a truck Man; I know but she has a great personality

You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.

me:hi Jaiden bully/Jaiden harper:leave me alone weirdo me:wow says the one who didn’t pass 3RD grade bully/Jaiden harper:"hits" me:calls fbi and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves"bye bye" fbi:“FBI OPEN UP!!!”

Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up. I mean honestly, what are they going to do tell there parents? 😂😂

What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die

A man is meeting a client in Japan, yet arrives a day early. When night hit he went out with a prostitute. They’re having sex, yet the prostitute kept shouting “Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!”, so the man thinks he doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going “Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!”. His client turns around confused and says “What do you mean wrong hole!?”

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks, the best part is when it kills people

Your mum is so fat she gets hit by a parked car

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.

A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde, when she turns him down , he goes to her and says " C’mon I’m a fun guy" .

You know how on Snapchat hmu means hit me up? A school posted smu. Nikolas Cruz responded.

Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,

Cause she was transgender.

My girlfriend said, “GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!” So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

What do you call J Cow’s new hit? Deja Moo!

What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?