Hit Jokes

If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.

One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.

"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"

Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."

"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."

"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."

"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."

"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.

"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."

"Okay daddy!"

*long pause*

"Okay daddy! I did it!"

"Great job Sally! What did she say?"

"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.

He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!

A man in a black uniform shirt and tan pants is in the middle of a store aisle. He has a very distinct pose with his left leg lifted in the air as though he's been startled. He is looking directly at the camera. The text at the top reads, "When your shower is too hot and it hits your back."

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

Q: Why can't pilots play Jenga?

A: Because they will just hit the Twin Towers.

Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

When you're sad, hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?

The rope would catch her.

I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"

When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.

Why did the child drop their ice cream?

They got hit by a bus.

Girls are like blackjack.

I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.