I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.
Animal Abuse
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Explanation
Experiment
Explain Bear
Alright, listen up, buttercup. This joke is saying that the person is so ugly that hitting them would be considered animal abuse. Like, they're saying the person looks like an animal... a REALLY ugly animal. And since animal abuse is illegal, they can't hit them. Get it now, genius?