Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
History Jokes
2001, Angry Birds was so amazing. Over 500 people in 2 birds.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.
Well, that was a blow up!
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
