History jokes
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
Memes
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.