History jokes
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Memes
still is champoin
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.