History jokes
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.
Were Japanese suicide bombers taught to fly, or was it just a quick crash course?
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
It was a blast to visit the Twin Towers on 9/11 at exactly 8:46 a.m. It was the bomb... like, literally!
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?
Smash or pass the Twin Towers?
Planes: Smash
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
What do you call a blind Nazi?
A Not-See!
You know who deserves a medal? The guy who killed Hitler.
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world? Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.