History jokes
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.