Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Flippity floppity, women are property.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
