What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
History Jokes
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.
What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore.
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?
One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?
You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.
My dad was a great pilot...
He died in 9/11.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
Steel led to World War 2.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
My grandpa died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.
So I told him he was on my cock.
(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)
