History jokes

What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain finished the races.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?

They both enjoy digging up the past.

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

What is a terrorist's DJ name?

Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!

I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.

But the punch line is too long.

I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.

What is Hitler's least favorite fish?

Jewfish.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both got taken out by two jets.

What did Jessiey do?

Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?

Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.

The truth behind Hitler's suicide: his gas bill was too high.

Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and on their land.