Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
Wanna know the last words of the south tower?
"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"
I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
