History jokes
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
Statue of Liberty ain't even American, that b*tch is French!
Why are natives called redskins? Idk, ask the pilgrims 😂
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"
What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?
"Aaah, a ghost!"
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
What did Grant say? "I'm gay."
What did the South Tower ask the North Tower?
What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!
Shame on King Tut! Tsk-tsk!
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.