History jokes
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?
They both went down on my dad.
Why were the twin towers fighting?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?
Batter up!
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
Why did they burn witches back in the day?
Because they were annoying feminists.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
What's another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Royals?
Because they have already lost two towers!
Jenga.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.