History jokes
Shame on King Tut! Tsk-tsk!
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
Why are Nepalese 🇳🇵 bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their đź‘‘.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
Where did the king put his armies?
In his sleevies.
Memes
This one is for Ethan (I'm with stupid)
Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?
My Friend: What’s that?
Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.
KK or Liv?
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.