History jokes

I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.

Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!

Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?

Rip Van Tinkle.

The north and south towers got into an argument.

The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."

What do you call a blind German?

A Nazi (not see).

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and on their land.

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

Cotton waiting to be picked.

What is the difference between a black man and Jew?

One was born burnt.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”

Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Why can't Americans play chess? They have no towers.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

I heard that the Twin Towers have some plane DNA.