Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
History Jokes
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
