What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.
What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.
My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?
They couldn't beet the Nazis.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
What do you call a Mongolian swindler?
A Khan artist.
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
What did kings say when they were made king?
Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
