History jokes
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
My great grandpa killed Hitler.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
What did the Brit say to the American?
Well here comes fascism.
The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!
See the lies.
The Romans conquered Africa, they conquered Europe, they conquered Britain, then they stopped. They probably ran out of conkers.
What did the Roman say to the gladiator?
See you later, gladiator.
Hippity hoppity, women are property.
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
Why didn't the Twin Towers order cheese pizza?
They like pepperoni, not plane!
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
Why were the twin towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same!
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.