History

History jokes

9/11

  • My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

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    JFK

  • You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

    Shower

  • They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

    Head

  • What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?

    The steering wheel.

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    Baby

  • What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

    Isaac Newton died a virgin.

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  • Twin

  • Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?

    Their birth and death date are the same.

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    Rifle

  • What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?

    An AK-46.

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