History jokes
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
Iceberg: You may know me.
Titanic: You are a sucker.
Iceberg: You hit me.
Titanic: Moron.
Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!
Titanic: I don’t give a shit.
If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
My grandfather loves Hitler. They both had one ball.
What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
The CCP have managed to achieve in making Covid last longer than the Great Wall of China.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two, but now it’s just a sensitive topic.
Why were Twin Towers mad that their food wasn’t good enough?
Because they got plain.
Why are Nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting.
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?
What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?
Anglosaxon.
Why are Americans bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....
Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.
I'm so proud of my Grandpa. He killed Hitler himself.