Him jokes

Friend

2 views ·

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

Baby

10 views ·

Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.

They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...

Doctor

1 view ·

My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!

Bomb

15 views ·

There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

Detector

5 views ·

Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.

Watch

52 views ·

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?

He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

Orphan

1 view ·

Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?

Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.

Hooker

5 views ·

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Uncle

10 views ·

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Giraffe

2 views ·

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”