I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
Why did the kid bring a later to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.
How do rappers greet each other?
With a HIGH FIVE and a MIC DROP
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
What's the difference between emos and 9/11?
The emos are still there, high up off the ground.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
Why can't you ever see an emo?
They're too high to see.
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
My friend tried high fiving me left him hanging
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
Does anyone go to Eagle High School? Tell me what classes you have from 1st period to 4th period if you go to Eagle High School.
I was gonna stop for the cops, but I ran because I was high (the song don't copyright me plz).
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
