Why do high tides come up so high?
Because they come up to say hi.
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the bars were high.
What makes you guys high? I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
roses are red, violets are blue, the stonks are high and so are you.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.
And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"
And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."
You know you're high when you hold all your pineapples hostage and yell, "SpongeBob, I know you're in there!"
When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.
We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
When a person is thinking of a high number in Roblox
-smashes keyboard-
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.
What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.
Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.
Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?
Technoblade: Broke.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
