HI jokes

The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.

When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.

I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.

A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?

The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.

It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.

Why?

Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."

Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?

Pretty nuts!

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

Hi Explain Bear, how are youuu!

Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.

I moved so much stone today.

I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.

How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."