HI jokes
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.
Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE
Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"
Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"
Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"
Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa said, "Yes."
Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
Hi, this is not a joke. Please like, or I will be verrrrrrry sad! -_-
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
"Hi, I’m Dan White’s dad. Where is he?"
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
"Johnny, why wave?"
"Hi, Goo!"
Hi how are you?
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.