HI jokes
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To NAIL his performances!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!
Why did the rapper bring a suitcase to the studio?
Because he was packing his rhyme books!
Why did the rapper become an electrician?
Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES.
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
What did the rapper say to his shoes?
"You better lace up!"
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
To find his way through the BEATS.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the interview?
Because his FUTURE was too BRIGHT!
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the concert?
To COUNT his BARS.
The truth behind Hitler's suicide: his gas bill was too high.
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
To find his way to the top of the CHARTS.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To fix his flow.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.