When someone calls you say this, Hi Welcome to Dave’s Orphanage, You make them We take them how may I help you! :)
Wife:Honey im pregnant
Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad
Wife:No you’re not
Hi, Welcome to Dave’s Orphanage you make them we take them how may I help you?
me: you wanna hear a story?
billie: yes sure
me: once upon a time, i ran over your dog last night.
Wife: Hi honey im pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant im dad.
Wife: No your not…
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him … everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing … I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market … they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
“Hi Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?” " Oh, Johnny you know Matt doesn’t have any arms or legs." “I know, we just wanted to use him as third base.”
MOM: honey im pregnet DAD:Hi pregnet im dad MOM:No your not
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid’s birthday party. He walked in and said “Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel.” He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said “And for my final trick; I will disappear!” He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said “Hey, he’s like my dad.” “Really” asked a little girl? “I guessed?” he said back, “My dad wasn’t a magician, but he disappeared. I haven’t seen him since…”
Person 1: hi i am tom… and you ? person 2: andrew ?
Hi guys. I am so happy and proud of myself and i thought i should share with you!! Today i saw myself on TV when i turned it off.
Hi hunter. Emilly wrote this
Why do orphans love having sex?
Becuase They can finally call somebody daddy.
Me: Hey dad, I’m in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal…
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I’m dad!
hi mom how are you doing
What did the kids say hi to? A slide
hi. I am joe
Hi person reading this
If someone calls you, reply with this “Hi this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?
i say hi to sans sans shows is hand and say’s is hand to meet you and we both lath
hi honey how do you want buns