Hey

Hey jokes

Kid

  • Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

    It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

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    Tree

  • Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

    The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

    Show

  • Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.

    Kids changing the channel to Annie.

    Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.

    TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.

    Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!

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    Gun

  • When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

    He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

    I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

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    Life

  • Hey woah man, and Alya how are you guys? Oh and hbu jk master? How is life right now? Is it hard? You wanna talk?

    Ass

  • Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)

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    Mom

  • Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

    Me: Nothing, why?

    Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

    Me that/every night: *sob*

    Friends: Are you okay?

    Me: Yeah, fine.

    Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

    Time

  • Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

    I commented back to you and portory.

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    Dad

  • 20 years later

    Johnny: Hey dad.

    Dad: Yea?

    Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!

    Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.

    Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.

    Dad:...

    Relationship

  • 1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!

    2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.

    3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.

    4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......

    5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.

    6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!

    7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.

    8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS

    Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....

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    Meme

  • STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES!

    I was in a server, right? And ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just Among Us stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear is sus HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING." I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY." I looked at my penis. I think of an astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUS" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG

  • 5
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    Taco

  • Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......

    Orphan

  • Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

    Orphan: But I don't have a mom!