Oh Hey guys do u know I saw a guy with dementia oh hey guys do u know I saw a guy with dementia oh hey do u know I saw a guy with dementia
Someone: Hey, are you a skeleton?
A skeleton: Of course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans!
Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
Hey guys, I just wanna say what happened to Kanye; he is one of my favorite rappers, and he’s going through a hard time. I don’t see why people can’t just spread love and kindness like me💕
I think that Kanye was right to say what he said. I completely support him, and I don’t understand why people hate on him for using his 1st amendment, and Yeezy should be sued for it.
Quote of the day: Love bests hate as for hate is the killer of friendships - Collin Kaepernick
Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"
Little Johnny said, "No, what?"
She answered, "The principal's office."
Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"
The teacher answered, "No, what?"
"You have a d!ck in your mouth!"
Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
Lenda: Hey, can you help me with my homework, please?!
Genda: Okay, and if I do, you won't make a fuss about it!
Lenda: I'll try!
3 mins later.
Genda: THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER!
Lenda: Then what is 90 million?
Genda: WHA WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda mocking her: WHA OH YEAH YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TUTOR!!!!!!!!
4 mins later.
Genda: What is the capitol of watchington?
Lenda: Uh.....Idaho!
Genda being sarcastic: Yes...it is not the capitol of watchington...BECAUSE IT IS A STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: Oh, you mean Iowa!
Genda: UHHHHHHHHHHHH CUSS WORD!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: U can't help that I'm the smart one...okay sweetie now you go be dumb and I go be smart! LATER SISTER! Oh wait, can you help me with my homework?
Genda: NO! You the smart one so you do it!
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
Hey can you PUTIN DEEZ NUTZ
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world, and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?
Tess: No!
Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!
Tess: Oh!
FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?
LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?
FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!
LONELY ORPHAN: :(
Me: Hey, I have candy.
Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?
Me: Some of deez nuts.
hey
