Hes jokes
What would you call the previous president when he is having a bad day?
Donald Grump.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
Why were people sad when John F. Kennedy got shot? All he got was head.
Memes
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home plate.
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?
Leg day.
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
Why is Goofy named Goofy? Because he is goofy!
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
He drove too far away from the wall, and the cord unplugged.
He tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football? Because he got all the downs.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.