Hes jokes

You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.

Stephen Hawking is intelligent.

He is not as green as he is cabbage.

Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?

A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working in an orphanage!

The day I saw people asking Lebron James whether he liked to play basketball, my thoughts be like: wait, so Lebron James is gay cuz he likes to play with them balls.

What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.

Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?

Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

Because he had no home to go to.

So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"

During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.

He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*

My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!

"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."

Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?

'Cause he had a screw loose!

Me: Bomber333 is the imposter!

Other Crewmate: Why do you say that as if you know who the imposter is with 100% certainty?

Then he read my username and knew.

Did you hear about the famous pickle?

He was a big dill!

Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam.

Why is Paul Walker a walker?

To let people know he isn't a driver.

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."

I met a homeless guy named Rich.

He wasn't.