Hes jokes
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by an ice cream truck.
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
Memes
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football? Because he got all the downs.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
Why is Goofy named Goofy? Because he is goofy!
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
He drove too far away from the wall, and the cord unplugged.
He tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
He's fat!
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.