Hes jokes

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.

Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.

He’s so short no one can see you very close by.

My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...

Bush is innocent, he's white...

Your dad is Spider-Man because he’s far from home.

My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he had no body to go with!

Joel isn’t a joke, he’s the embodiment of perfection.

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?

Now he's a bronze fish.

How do you know Thor has your back?

He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).

Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?

Because he's a cheetah!