Hes jokes
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Why is ten afraid? Because he’s in between nine and eleven.
When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.
The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
Bush is innocent, he's white...
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
Joel isn’t a joke, he’s the embodiment of perfection.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.