Hes jokes
Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Student: His parents.
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
My dad is like a unicorn.
He's never here. :c
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
Why can't the T-Rex cross the road?
Because he's extinct.
What did a skeleton say when he's alone?
"I'm so bonely..."
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.