at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I'm a butcher
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like a the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How you ask? Ask the Twin Towers
The orphan was playing baseball, he hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My friend and I were walking down the street and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by 3 other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help.
He had no chance against the 5 of us.
WHY DID THE SCIENTIST WANTED TO TAKE OFF HIS DOORBELL
BECAUSE HE WANTED TO WIN THE NO BELL PRIZE
So my dad said to me and my sister don't fight but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
My grandfather died in 9/11.
He was a great pilot
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
I told a kid his dad I's a magician because he disappeared and never came back home
crappy joke warning how does spongbob have fun he smokes seaweed
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says "that is mother teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" Ask's the man. Jesus answers "it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied "I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing"
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said “did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied “do you mean Nein millimeter?”
