Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost may.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail? When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it freethrow, because he will never sink it.
I have a the best life coach ever, because he taught to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
Little Johnny is in class one day and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says what's so funny? He said I can see your bra strap. The teacher says don't come back to class for a week, so he get up and walked out. A few minutes later little Billy starts laughing, and she ask what's funny now? Little Billy said I can see both of your bra straps. The teacher says get out of my class room for a month. So little Billy got pissed he walked out and slammed the door, this scared the teacher and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up then she stood back up and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked where do you think your going? He said well teach after what I saw I'm done with school for a lifetime.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
why did Stephen hawking die? because he lost wifi connection
I identify as Michael Jackson and my pronouns are he he
A funny joke scenario Person 1: Why didn't he skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly fat and nobody liked him
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
The Women saw a Cute lookin cop she Had pulled up right Next to him and said “Hey can i get your number” He said yea it’s “911”. And drove of
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate? I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife? He wiped.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? He was feeling BONELY
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes and multiples with the whole classroom.
An orphan was running down the road.. a car pulled up and said "get in" so the orphan got in and said "where we going?" the kidnapper said "i'm taking you to my house" he orphan replied "OML YOUR ADOPTING ME!?"
