Her jokes
My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
Yo mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo mama so fat that her belt size is the Equator.
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.