Her jokes
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What do you white people use as pronouns?
Crack/her.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!