Her jokes
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
What do you white people use as pronouns?
Crack/her.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
What did the Queen Bee say to her bees?
"Beehive yourselves!"
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
Yo mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.