Her jokes

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up like an altar boy.

Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."

Yo mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama so fat that her belt size is the Equator.

Yo mama so rich,

her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...

"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"

Why did the transgender man only eat salad?

Because he was a "her" before.

Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

Yo mama so fat,

Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.

Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?

A. She had to go to GasTown.

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.