Her jokes

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

DARK ALERT********

A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.

DARK ALERT********

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

Yo mama so fat, Flash couldn't run around her.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They told her to go find the light.

Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"

Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.

Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.

Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!

Yo mama so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they gave her the ocean.

Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.

My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.

What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”

He hid in her attic.

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."