Her jokes

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!

Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?

... she likes to rock and roll lol.

Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?

A. Denephew.

Why did Sally cross the road?

She didn’t wear her seatbelt.

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.

Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?

To make up her mind.

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.

Why do trans women go by she/her?

Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.

She won't talk to me anymore.

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.

When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.